that the whole idea behind the Mill, besides money, was also one of
benevolence? I think that’s a fantastic word, by the way. Build the
Mill, the foundry, and fan out, across the town, with dormitories for
the workers (who were, in the beginning, farm girls), and then,
because the workers needed it, build the school, give them a hospital,
a library, houses, and on and on. And when the Mill closed, a part of
the town died. The river was dead. It just sat there, for years and
years, a ghost at the end of town. If I stand in my brother’s attic
room, on our hill off Aster Avenue, did you know I can see
practically the whole town? All the big houses on our hill, and then
down to Main Street, and to the east Polish Town, where the houses
are smaller, and the west, where they are smaller still. From my hill,
I see everything, and at the very end of it, always, is my beginning:
the Mill. I think my mother is grappling with that. How to be
benevolent again. But you can’t push her; I’ve learned that. I might
be getting ahead of myself, here. But I’m thinking of that word,
benevolence, a lot. We could all probably be a little more benevolent
in life. We all live here, after all. We all share the same mighty good
company of the stars at night, and everyone deserves kindness, and
survival. Everyone deserves to be seen.
You know who I am. Or you think you do, much like people
think they know Isabel in the book. Presumptions based on her
appearance, her background. I’m quiet, I like to read, my family has
a lot of money, my life will be safe. I am a good and safe girl, is
what you probably think, and your job is to guide me through my
intellectual development. But (and no offense intended here), as
Isabel says in the book, “I don’t need the aid of a clever man to teach
me how to live. I can find it out for myself.” And for better or worse,
that’s what I’m doing right now.
I think that might have been one of the problems with your book
list. You chose that list because those are the books that you loved,
that you know, that you think we should read (and also, Lolita is
completely inappropriate for high school; I don’t know why you